Alternatively titled, the time I was Cinderella in Europe. Without a fairy godmother or Prince Charming.
First off, a lot of people might be asking, what the heck is an au pair? When I told people in the United States of my plans to work abroad as an au pair I was usually met with a confused look. An au pair is kind of a babysitter, language tutor, and cultural ambassador hybrid. Au pairs are hired most often as a way for families to expose their children to mother tongue English speakers. Thus, most of the au pair’s time is spent with children speaking English. You may be required to help with chores around the house or prepare more in depth lessons, but usually you are only expected to do about 5 hours of work a day. In return, the au pair is given room and board and a weekly allowance of what is considered pocket money (in Italy this is less than 100 euro a week). So while you won’t be raking in the cash, by being an au pair in Europe you will be immersed in a new culture and make enough for a few glasses of wine (or pints of beer) on the weekend.
Now, how did I go from recent college graduate to girl living in a subterranean cell? Well, as soon as my study abroad program in Rome ended in the spring, I knew I had to be back in that city. Finding a job in Europe as an American is incredibly difficult. With an extremely large pool of European workers who don’t need visa sponsorship, few companies are going out of their way to hire us Yanks. Especially in the bureaucratic nightmare of a country that is Italy. Working as an au pair is a good alternative for those looking to live in Europe.
After spending a few weeks weeding out families on the internet, I finally secured what I thought would be a great position with a single mother and 3 older children living in the northern part of Rome. Plane ticket purchased, bags packed, and airport pickup sorted, I boarded a flight to Rome in early September filled with joy at the thought of returning to my city.
Within the first few days of arriving, it became apparent that much of what had been told to me about the job wasn’t actually true. 5 hours work days turned into 8. Light housework became scrubbing floors on my hands and knees. My private room was actually a moldy, dark, storage unit in the apartment’s basement. I was horrified. After many tear filled long distance calls to my parents and a long discussion with my host mother, I decided to leave.
But fear not, au pair jobs in Rome are plentiful and I soon had another gig lined up with a family. This family, with two elementary aged girls, welcomed me with a spread of wine, cheese, and salame. Off to a good start. I quickly fell into stride with the family and the schedule. Walk the girls to school in the morning. Tidy up their room. Pick them up from school. Help with English homework. Play hide and go seek. Braid doll hair. Eat wonderful home cooked Italian meals. All while still having time to sip cappuccini and wander the city with my crew of fellow au pair friends during the day and at night.
Soon I was not only living with a family, I was completely immersed in another culture. Though I was only to speak English with the kids, the family spoke Italian amongst themselves and my listening comprehension and vocabulary skyrocketed. I celebrated my first “Name Day”. I ate a sheet of tiramisu made by my host grandmother instead of cake to celebrate the youngest girl’s eight birthday. We decorated the Christmas tree together (and dressed up like Santa Claus) in time for The Day of the Immaculate Conception. I was experiencing a part of Italy I had never gotten to see as a student or a traveler.
When American Thanksgiving rolled around I got to share some of my culture. I make turkey (breasts, not the whole bird unfortunately), mashed potatoes, my dad’s famous stuffing, green beans, and even a pumpkin pie. My host father brought a great bottle of white wine to accompany the meal and after dinner we Skyped with my family back home. My host family loved the entire experience and it made my first Thanksgiving away from home much easier than I’d anticipated.
As my time with the family came to and end that December, not only was I sad to say goodbye to my host family, I was sad to say goodbye to the entire experience. Which wasn’t something I thought I’d be able to say when I was living in a basement four months earlier.
Don’t let this post scare you away from pursuing a job as an pair. Do your research, go in with an open mind, and don’t expect every day to be smiles and sing-alongs a la Mary Poppins. Being an au pair is a fabulous way to experience another culture and live abroad as a young adult. Even with the ups and downs of my time as an au pair in Italy, I’d do it again in a heartbeat.
If I was on the other side 25, that is.
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Great post! It’s great to be honest about bad situations abroad, I had the worst host mother ever in Argentina and should’ve switched immediately. Now i’m working as an au pair in France and luckily my family turned out to be great! You win some, you lose some I guess.
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Thanks! Being abroad has made me learn how to stick up for myself so much. And host families are such a toss up! Some of my friends had amazing families, others were okay, and some were worse than mine. It’s hard to gauge what someone is going be like just through the internet and phone calls! I’m glad you’ve found an amazing family this time!
It’s great that you didn’t give up and high tail it home when the first job wasn’t what you expected . And, that you found something that was a better experience.
I like hearing these stories of how people caught the travel bug.
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Thanks! I knew I wanted to be in Rome, and I was going to find a better family no matter how long it took! Perseverance paid off
I am planning to join a family in Rome in June. Did you stay the 90 days you were allowed or apply for a student visa? If so what university?
I did not get a student visa, but I think it is probably the best option. You can get it through a language school which might be less expensive than a university.
Wow, so you went straight from your student visa to working as an au pair – did you have to leave the country at all first to change over? Good to hear two different sides to the one story. Being an au pair is very hit and miss and its a fine line between giving up to easily and not moving on when the time is right! I am glad it worked out for you, Jen.
Thank you! I actually went home for 4 months in between studying and au pairing.
Oh ok awesome! Yeah its a total nightmare trying to work out my visa options, hopefully it all comes together for me soon though!! All the best Amanda!
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Good luck, it is very tricky. And not very fun!
Hey where did you find your family? ive been trying to become an aupair but have been running into scams
I used greataupair.
Woww im an au pair right now un turin. But thanks god is a great family. Btw where did you found other au Pairs? I ve been living here fof 3 weeks and need some company…
I actually found all my au pair friends through Facebook. Try searching for Au Pair groups in Turin. If there aren’t any, I’m pretty sure there is a general Facebook group for au pairs in Italy. Make a post and I’m sure you’ll find someone nearby. Also, try meetup.com. There are usually groups for just about every interest in most cities. Good luck!
Your experience sounds awesome!
I am hopefully going to Italy soon as well!
One problem I’ve run into is getting a visa, was it difficult for you to get one? How long did it take approximately?
Juliya, I just arrived in Italy a week ago from the US for an au pair job. I did not get a visa; choosing instead to just come for the allotted 3 months that Americans are allowed. If, at the end of the 3 months, my host family and I love each other, then they might apply for the paperwork and send it back with me so I can apply for a work visa. I think getting a visa takes at least 2-3 weeks but many times even longer than that, and it is difficult to get one unless you are a student applying for a student visa. Good luck!
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Thanks for the comment Rachel! I think getting a work visa is hard, even if your family supports you, but good luck with everything. I hope it works out for you.
Amanda, I just began au pairing in Italy! I am very lucky to have an absolutely wonderful host family – they treat me well, I do not have to do any cleaning, and they are paying me 300 Euro a week! Looking back though, I should have done more research before jumping on a plane and coming. I was fortunate but I can see how many au pairs get exploited. I love your blog!
Thanks Rachel! I’m glad you are having such a good experience. Enjoy it- it goes by so fast!
By chance does this family want a new au pair starting sept 2015 haha I’m currently looking for a family and I’m running into the issue of trying to find a language school that isn’t so expensive so that I can apply for a visa… I’m trying to make sure I have all the information I need and it seems like it’s never-ending! I’m happy to hear your experience is going well though
The visa issue is hard. Good luck with everything and I hope you find a great family!
Has anyone been successful in getting a work visa or subordinate work visa for AuPair in italy? Would love some advice!
I’ve heard it’s difficult to impossible to get a work visa as an au pair, but I knew a few people who got student visas through language courses. Good luck!
Hi,
My name is Jen and i am a 21 year old female. I have been reading this blog and have found it very helpful!! I am looking to go to Rome in May and am looking for an au pair family. Could anybody recommend any families or websites? Any tips or help would be massively appreciated!!
Thanks
Hi Jen,
Great Au Pair and Au Pair World are the two most common websites to find families. My friend just started a website called Become an Au Pair that might be helpful too. Good luck!
Amanda
Hi do you have a link for that Become an Au Pair website your friend has set up? Finding it difficult to find a host family in Rome for the summer months! Thanks!
It’s http://www.becomeanaupair.me. Good luck!
Hello! So, I want to au pair in Italy for three months. I know you said not to leave your home country without a Visa, and that Italy doesnt offer au pair Visas. But since ‘d I’d just be staying for three months, would you advise that I still au pair there with just a tourist Visa? Is it potentially dangerous to au pair in Italy without a work Visa of some kind?
While technically not legal, if you stay for less than 90 days I would just on a tourist visa and if anyone asks say you are traveling. The chances of getting caught if you stay within the legal time are very low.